HaPHaZaRD LaND

One of my friends said I must be busy these days because she hasn't seen me updating my blog. Am I busy? Not really, I think I'm still on my "lazy" mode after my Panama trip. Still not really into work nor tasks from church, which is sooo bad. =P I need to overcome this soon!

One of the things I hope I had during the Panama trip was to know how to type Chinese cuz I need others to help me entering the words before I create the power points. So I decided to pick up my Chinese typing book to regain this long last skill again! (Note: Words per minute is out of scope! =D) I completed lesson 1 from my book already! ^0^

I've turned on my "people-shy" personality since I returned from Panama. I didn't really want to hang out with anyone, but I have to keep my promise to "date" a friend for a meaningful discussion/ sharing once a week. So I keep it going anyway. I think as I aged, I'm becoming increasingly hesitate to just "hang" out with a butch of people. Life is too short and time is too precious. I don't want to just "hang" out with friends, but I wanna know them in depth more and really want to have a "spiritual" or "heart to heart" conversation. However, I found myself unable to have a meaningful discussion with >2 people at the same time, and realized that the more people there are, the more lonely and detached I felt. Not quite sure what the solution is, but my "date" plan will continue. =)

[ Bits and Pieces from Panama STM ]

It has been a week after Panama STM trip, and life is back to normal. The 15 days in Panama was not a life transforming experience, but it does make me appreciate my life more.

Almost all Chinese in Panama smuggled into the country. After a smuggler landed in Panama, he has to work for his sponsor for couple of years to repay his debt. During those years, the smuggler has to work days and nights, and the treatment he gets really depends on his sponsor. As a result, a lot of them don���t get time off often and end up living in a cage (bedroom is behind the store). Age of smuggler can be as young as 15 year old, so you can imagine how tough their lives can be.

I met an 18 year old girl in fellowship at Panama Church, who was abandoned by her relative; her relationship with her parents in Midland China is broken. She told me she does not know what love is until she met Jesus Christ. I don���t think she is completely healed by Christ yet, but I hope she will be someday. I was speechless after I heard her story. I have never been through so much hurt and difficulty in my life, so I don���t think I���m in the position to comfort her. Friendship is all I can offer.

I also met an owner of a convenience store, who hasn���t left his store for 1.5 year because the neighborhood is not safe and his store will be robed if he doesn���t guarded it 24/7. This is so sad, he thought he owns the store, but the reality is that he is controlled by the store and created a cage for himself. This is not an isolated case, but a general issue across Chinese in Panama. It makes me think if we���re owned by our job/ our entertainment/ our possessions.

Because life in North America is so easy compare to people���s lives in Panama, it makes visitation really difficult for me. I often don���t know what to say and I didn���t equipped myself enough to share the gospel with them directly. I hope I can better equip myself for Joshua Gospel Camp.

We think life is busy in North America, which prevents us from spiritual growth. We want to achieve more in our jobs through continue education; putting in more hours to meet deadline; balancing fun time with working hours. However, this is nothing compare to people in Panama, who struggle from making a living to meet their daily needs. Can I claim to be busy from growing spiritually when all of my daily needs are already met?

The serving experience was physically challenging due to lack of sleep, but we have a pretty good team and everyone is willing to put in their two cents. Before the program starts, I was so worried about the electricity power and A/V of the church. I thank the Lord for a smooth program and I was able to maintain clam on the stage. ^0^