HaPHaZaRD LaND

++ Bloggers' pain ++

A cycle of blogger's life:
1. What's the topic of this week? Man...what did I do this week again? My life is so boring and I'm sure my feelings aren't that unique anyway. Why would people care about my writing?

The struggle continues until a sense of "knowing" reaches my heart and I have accumulated enough "feelings" to express.

2. Shall I write it in English or Chinese? Such a pain to write in Chinese, yet my English grammar is not perfect neither. How do I spell that word again?

The struggle continues until I'm confident with my writing after I edited the message 10 times.

3. I wonder what people think of my update. Was it a valid point? Am I pretending to be someone I'm not? Why are my thoughts and my regular interactions with friends so extremely different? Maybe I'm mental? Maybe I'm incapable of having a real "in-depth" & "spiritual" conversation with people, and I can only do so when I'm alone.

The struggle continues and it doesn't seems to end anytime soon.

4. Do people really care about who I'm? What I do? What I think? Do my friends read my blog at all? Maybe I'm only self-talking in this virtual world.

The struggle continues until someone left me a comment after checking my blog 15 million times a day. I start to wonder why I often received comments on non-spiritual observations/ matters. Then I realized that a reflection on spiritual lesson is rare and shall be treasured.

5. I wonder if all bloggers have the same feelings or am I just concerning my blog a little too much. =P

::Ground Zero::

After 4 years since 911, it is my first time visiting the Ground Zero, where the World Trade Centre used to be. It is only a construction site with display of the timeline and list of people who confirmed they have lost their lives in the attack (approx 3,000).

As I was looking at the timeline of the attack, a man was playing "Amazing Grace" with his flute. It wasn't the best music in the world, a little out of tone and a little out of practice. However, it reminded me that God is with HIS people even in a situation that seems to be unjust. Then, I saw the list of people who have lost their lives, knowing that this list is way too short because the government won't issue death certificate until Year 2016 (15 years later) for those who never go home on Sept 11, but no body part was found. Can you imagine what these families have to go through for 15 years? A graveyard with no name, the feeling of lack of closure. A tiny hope in their heart, yet they know it can't be happening.